Day # 57

Trey is down to three-quarters of a liter on his O2 and is talking two bottles a day orally. Once I can breastfeed again he will take 2 bottles and 1 or 2 BFing sessions a day. I can't believe it but he is 5lbs 11.4 oz...WOW. I can't believe it but he will defiantly clear 6lbs when we get him home. Yippie.

So, my surgery went well much better then expected but my recovery time has gone from 10-12 days to 6-12 weeks. If I do as well as I usually do 6 weeks should be sufficient. I won't be able to drive for a while and I am going to speak with the doctor at my appointment to clear up exactly how long that will be. I have been placed on hip precautions. That means that I can't move my leg in a 90degree angle and I can't cross my leg or bring it across my chest. My flexibility is already better. I'm not in to much pain. I am more sore then anything. I have to use a walker..again but I am weight bearing as tolerated so hopefully in a few days I won't need it.

I do have to say that I am beyond stress out. Some people may not understand why but all the surgery and pain really takes a toll on my mind. I hate walking into the hospital. Every time I go there I think about the car accident or some aspect of it. I think about how my 9 months and a healthy baby were denied to me for some unknown reason. I try to put on a happy face and when I talk about the accident.I try to sound somewhat positive about it but the reality is that I am having a hard time dealing with that and Trey's early arrival. I was diagnosed with PTSD a very long time ago and for me it takes a very long time for things to hit me...and yes, it has taken almost 3 years for the gravity of the situation to hit me. To be honest I think Trey's coming early is what really made all this hit me. I feel like I have the worst luck. Who gets involved in such a bad accident and has a preemie. I don't think I can handle to much more. I just want a couple of years to be calm and uneventful. So, I got the thumbs up on taking some meds for all this crap and I still go to therapy. My goal is to deal with these issues and finally move forward with my life. It may take a while but one foot in front of the other and I will get there and become a better mommy and wife. So here is something a little more positive...sorry all.

here are the pictures I promised of Trey taking his first bottle