Day # 50-51 Big day tomorrow

Wednesday morning Trey's doctor called to let me know they were taking him off of continuous feeds and starting him on bolus feeds today. I was really happy. They decided that the caffeine is out of his system and his reflux has began to resolve it's self. Soon after speaking with the doctor the phone rang again. This time it was the LC from the hospital. She asked me if I was ready to put Trey to the breast for the first time. I didn't know what to say at first. I was speechless. I felt like this day was never going to come and here it was. So, tomorrow will be the first time we put him to the breast. They are going to have me pump first and then gavage feed him while he suckles.

I am so nervous. My mind has been racing since I got the news. I thought 7 weeks ago that I would be so much more happy about this day but I am more scared then anything. I have an over-active letdown and I am scared that he will choke. I am afraid that he won't like it or that I won't know what to do. Most of this "mom" thing has been very instinctive to me but now I feel like the things that should come naturally may not. I am such a control freak that the news of any change good or bad makes me flip out, including this. So, I have the boppy pillow ready to go along with some snack, water and my patience. I have been told many times that he may not get it right away but to be patient and don't give up....So, that is what I will do.

Tracy, Trey's regular night nurse and I decided to put him in a swing chair for the first time. Trey loves to just look around at the world around him and we thought that it would give him a different perspective. I wasn't there for the first time because it was at 1am ( that is one of his most awake times of day.... YEAH =( ) but the next day Chris and I put him in the chair and he LOVED it. It was great to see him more like a real baby. He just sucked on his nuk and looked around.

He has such a great personality and disposition. He is so relaxed although you wouldn't know by the ultra concerned look he always has on his face. He only cries when he wants something and once you figure out what it is he stops. He LOVES his nuk and sucks on it all the time and he loves that swing chair..Thank God I have one at home...so here are some pictures of him in the swing chair and more updates on tomorrows trial run later.