He is 3months old / 3days adjusted

It is so hard to believe that Trey is 3months old...well he was yesterday. The more difficult part to explain is that he kinda has two birthdays (at least to me and the doctors). He has his real birthday April 28th and his adjusted (actual due date) birthday July 25th. These two dates will have a TON of importance until he is 2 years old and will have 'caught up' with other children his age. So, I bought these stickers to put on his onsies for each month he is and they start at zero ( LOL) so, I took a picture of him on his zero birthday and one again for his 3month birthday.

I have to say that as my due date has came and went I have had mixed emotions about it. Part of me is glad to have a happy healthy baby here with me and the other part of me still feels like I missed out on the "perfect" pregnancy and birth that I envisioned for Christopher, Chris and me. I still blame myself for his early arrival, even though I know in my head that I didn't do anything wrong. I guess I just wish there was something I would/could have done differently. But...to be honest my due date coming wasn't as bad as it has been for some of the 'preemie moms' that I know. Probably because Trey is home with me. I don't know how bad it would have been for me if he wasn't home but I won't dwell on that.

So, I have a video that I took and would like to share with everyone..I am in the process of TRYING to catch him rolling over. I had no idea how hard this would be, seeing he does it when he feels like it. It kinda seems like I am trying to catch a shooting star on film.

SO very sleepy!

We have been home for a little over two weeks and I finally feel like we are settling in to a routine ( if there is such thing with a new baby at home LOL). These last two weeks have flown by. I have never felt so busy, tired, wore out, happy, sad, irritated, oh did I say tired... in my life. I am finding that I am slightly jealous of Chris because he gets to go to work. Don't get me wrong I love Trey more then life it's self but I need a break for more then an hour..I need an afternoon of no bottles, baby, dishes, laundry, dog, cat or anything. Luckily Meghan ( my BFF) went to the mall with me and Trey on Monday and it was great. Just to have interaction with someone other then Chris. I needed a little girl time and some retail therapy.

probably should be sleeping right now but I feel that I have neglected the blog lately. It seems like I can barely get 5 seconds to relax and when I do I am TOTALLY not in the mood to blog. But, anywhoo here are something that I have learned lately on my road to mommyhood.

1) Going to the bathroom is now considered a break and I can do anything I need to while in the bathroom in less then 30 seconds

2) Cold food isn't that bad

3) Showers are a luxury and if I get a chance to shave my legs the day is going to be PERFECT!!

4) Sweat pants are my new favorite thing

So here are some picts of the family...enjoy

. Watching the game...or something on ESPN!

I LOVE outfits with ears..

the las tday in the NICU...NO TUBES

Our first week home!

This last week has just flown by. Trey had his follow up eye appointment yesterday and it went great. They saw no ROP at all..AWESOME. He eyes are fully developed, so his next appointment is not for a year. Next week he has a follow up at the highrisk NICU clinic at Children's and I don't even want to think about it. I promised myself that I will live in the here and now that way I can enjoy every minute but I am sure that everything will be fine.

Trey has a pretty good schedule, He wakes up at 7am for a feeding then sleeps till 9 wakes up to be fed again and then we take Tango for a walk. Then we do some tummy time till he wears himself out. He sleeps from 11-2 in the afternoon and that gives me plenty of time to clean and start dinner. He wakes to be fed and changed then we do some more tummy time and hang out till dad comes home. He usually takes a bottle or breast at 12am then sleeps till 4am and I can't tell you how great it is to sleep from 12-4. I am so glad that we have a schedule; I hate not having one. When things are on a schedule it makes life so much easier.

Trey LOVES tummy time. The doctor said he may not like it but OMG his was wrong. He squeals and smiles. It is so cute. He is doing a great job lifting his head and neck but I have to say it is funny to watch him lift that gigantic melon of his LOL. We have a video of it and when I figure out how to up load it I will post it. Well, he is waking up from his nap so ...got to go.

First Pediatrician Appointment..we are offically on the growth chart!!!

The last two nights have been beyond wonderful. I have learned some new tricks as a mom...like using my feet as a second set of hands and I do beleive that I have developed super heaing. Trey is on a great schdule and I am sure any mother will agree that, that is a GREAT thing. Tigger ( our cat ) is not to pleased with the new addition to our family. She is very jelous but I am sure she will get over it soon. She just hates seeing Chris hold anything other then her.

We had our first pediatrician appointment today and it went really well...except for the dumb ass nurse who nearly choked Trey and caused him to brady..but more on that in a second. I really like the doctor he is very knowledgeable on preemies and so far I feel very comfortable with him. Trey is actual on the growth chart and for any mom but especially a preemie mom this is a huge deal seeing that our children are looked at as behind on most things. Sometimes it feels like they are on a uphill battle from the start. So, anyways he is in the 75th percent for his height and weight and 60th for his head circumference but due to the fact that his head is still a bit squished I am not worried and neither is the doctor. Trey has met most of his milestones for 1mth and has started on his 2mth milestones...they are as follows, the ones in red are the ones he has done so far, BTW..my new obsession will be catching him up and meeting his milestones (yeah)

By the end of month one a baby typically:
Lifts head for short periods of time
Moves head from side to side
Prefers the human face to other shapes
Makes jerky, arm movements
Brings hands to face
Has strong reflex movements
Can focus on items 8 to 12 inches away
May turn towards familiar sounds or voices
Responds to loud sounds
Blinks at bright lights

By the end of month two a baby typically:
Smiles
Tracks objects with his eyes
Makes noises other than crying
May repeat vowel noises, such as "ah" or "ooh"

So, the doctor suggested that we give Trey the rotavirus oral vaccination so of course we did. The idiot nurse who gave him the dose placed him on his back ( we have to feed him on his side at an angle to feed him due to choking and reflux ) I was explaining to her why this won't work as she squeezed a large amount of the medicine in his mouth and of course he started to choke then he turned slightly purple which means he is having a brady. She totally didn't know what to do and I could tell she was starting to panic. I on the other hand knew what to do. I scooped him up and patted him on the back until the color came back. By this time, she had left to get help and had came back with a nurse that has a preemie and knew what to do...but I already had it under control. Needless to say I told her that I wasn't being mean but I would like another nurse to assist us next time if possible, she was very nice about my request and said no problem and apologized, again.

The doctor suggested that we get out and enjoy the weather because once RSV season hits ( September/October ) we would be on lock down for the winter. RSV is the leading killer in preemies under two years old, Trey will be getting a special shot every month for it but we still have to limit his contact until he has a strong enough immune system and lungs to fight it off, when he gets it...and he will at some point.

So, we went on our first outing...to the mall YEAH!!! It felt good to get out and finally be seen with our baby..I loved seeing people stretch to get a peek in the stroller to see him and say 'aw, how cute he is so little' I was kinda paranoid about the germs but we kept our distance and it was the middle of the day. One lady said oh, he is so little how old is he...UGGG the dreaded preemie question..Most people don't understand that a preemies have to catch up due to there early arrival..so, when I tell people he is 2mths old and they see a newborn you can see the wheels turning. So, I gave the quick answer he is 2mths but he came early and was only 2lbs 10oz when he was born I could tell she understood. I think from now on I will give his adjusted age until I don't have to explain to people the "story"..but right now he still isn't zero yet (lol). So, that is what is going on in our little mans life right now..we are just enjoying every minute of it.

Day #1 of the rest of our lives!!!

After 70 very long days in the NICU we finally brought our little monkey home!!!

I have waited for this day for what seems like a life time and here it is...as I sit here and blog my wonderful husband is sitting with our son softly stoking his cheek and watching a movie...I can barely describe how wonderfully simple this moment is yet it will be in my memory forever. Forever, I will remember this very moment. I am so nervous about him being home. The knowledge that I have gained from the NICU makes me a little on edge..I wish I didn't know about bradies or apnea but I do. I am sure that with every passing day my concern will lessen but for now I am on edge but...peaceful at the same time..It is very hard to describe how I feel...It is so good to have my family all under one roof....finally.

Day #69...I can't sleep!!!

I can't believe it...the day is finally here!!!

The doctor called today and said that Trey has been doing really well..Taking all of his feeds, gaining weight and that if he continued to do well over night that he can come home tomorrow. I starting dancing all around the house...

I went to the hospital and filled out the circumcision consent and it broke my heart. He has been though so much and here I go putting him through more pain..I feel bad, but it has to be done. Chris and I picked out his special go home outift and I packed the diaper bag. The bottles are washed, the nursery is done

I am so excited I can barely write tonight..I can't think. All I do think about is how it will be holding... him at home, changing... him at home, loving him...at home. So,here is my letter to our Little Monkey

Dear Christopher,

When your daddy and I found out we were pregnant we were beyond happy. We found out the week before Thanksgiving. We had your nursery all ready for you by Christmas Eve. We found out that you were a boy and I have never seen your daddy happier. Being pregnant with you was very easy and I loved it. You kicked all the time and were very active and I LOVED it, but you decided to come early. You came 12 weeks early. I spent 9 days in the hospital trying to keep you in by alas you came anyways on April 28th at 12:40pm. I was prepared for the worst because you were so early but you were pink and crying when you came in to the world. The second I saw you I feel in love with you and your first cry melted my heart. I have never seen your daddy so proud.

Your daddy and I have waited for 10 long weeks for this day, to bring you home. You see because you came 12 weeks early you spent 10 weeks in the hospital. We visited you ever day and watched you grow. I will never forget the first time I was able to hold you, or the first diaper we changed, or the day we fed you for the first time,or put clothes on you for the first time. It has been a long road and we love you more and more each day.

Tomorrow when we take you through the NICU doors for the first time I am sure we will be a little scared but more excited. I can't wait to bring you home and love all over you.

Love you so much
Mommy

Day #68 Boring days at the NICU!

Monkey without any tubes YEAH!!

I am sure everyone has noticed that I have stopped tracking Trey's daily weight. I am still "weight obsessed" but he is constantly gaining and now that the NG tube, Oxygen and IV's are all out and he is over 6bls it doesn't seem like such a big deal. To be honest, FINALLY the days are becoming very boring at the NICU...

So far this is the hardest part of our NICU journey. The wait...Just waiting for the day when they tell us he can come home. I know it is so very close...Some nights I can hardly sleep. I wake up to pump around 3am and since last week it takes me until 5 or so fall asleep again. When I wake up I day dream ( or night dream LOL) about what it will be like to get up to feed him and not just pump. Sometimes, I can still smell him on my skin and think about wonderful it will be to be woken up at 3am to feed him. It's funny how some parents dread the night feeding but I can't wait. Even when he is crying it doesn't bother me, I enjoy every minute of it...every dirty diaper, hiccups, the several times he has spit up and it has gone directly down my shirt, watching him smile. Every moment with my precious baby boy seems more and more special and I can't wait to start a routine at home with him.

So, here are some recent pictures of Trey,

Soon as I hold him he always falls asleep.

A day or so before the other photos, he still has the NG tube in, still loves his swing!

Day # 67 We are so LUCKY!!!

Today when the doctors called they told me that the NG tube is out!!! I can't believe how fast this whole thing is moving along. Anyways, he started to tell me that they stopped using the HMF in the breast milk and started using something else that I can use at home, basically they are transitioning him to the other stuff to make sure he can tolerate it. Then he asked me to schedule our room in when we get there today!! This is the first time in 9 weeks that I have been excited to go to the hospital. This will be the first time since he was born that I will get to see him without any tubes or IV's.

Last night Chris and I were going to the hospital and kinda talking about "why?" this happened to us and surprisingly the discussion turned very positive. We feel like this whole situation really strenghten our marriage. We really worked through some of our BS and petty crap during this. We also feel like being a preemie parent makes us love our babies just a little more then if we would have had a healthy full term baby, not that "regular" moms don't love there kids...we all do..we just appreciate our babies in a different way. So, really...we are blessed, we just didn't see it at first..but now we do and we will never forget it...every bump or bruise, cough or cold, he gets will startle us a little more then the average parent but we have to be thankful that we even get those moments . Ever time he gets in trouble and the first time he falls in love will mean just a little more to me and my DH because at one point we didn't know if we would ever have those moments.

Today, I feel truly blessed!!!

Day # 62-66 In the home stretch

It has been a while since I have posted, mostly because I am exhausted. I haven't taken a day off even the day of the surgery I was at the NICU before I had the surgery. I do have a ton of really good news.

As you all know Trey has been taking bottles and breastfeeding. He is now taking all of his feeds orally...AWESOME and he is no longer on supplemental oxygen..YES!! I said it he is taking all his feeds by mouth and is off of the oxygen. He is constantly gaining weight so.....YEP...he is coming home soon. The nurses have bets going on how much longer it will be. One says next week and the other thinks he will be home before she gets back from vacation. Trey's final eye exam showed now prematurity in his eyes at all so no ROP and his IVH resolved it's self. When the doctor called to let me know that he was off of the O2 and taking his feeds orally..I just said Okay and listed as usual. He said to me.."do you know what I am telling you...Your going to have a baby home, really soon." It didn't hit me until Wednesday night. I woke up at 3am and couldn't sleep. I felt like I did when I was 6 the night before Christmas. I was full of excitement. I can't imagine how little sleep I will get the night before he actual comes home. So, Chris and I are spending the holiday weekend getting everything in order for Trey's big homecoming. We could get the call any day that he is ready to come home

;;;;;;doing a happy dance;;;;;;